On the street to a coffee shop, I thought what happened today was quite psychological and never experienced so much in school: for the constant misunderstandings, my Vietnamese colleague lost her temper today finally.
The psychological misunderstandings are:
* She didn't know my want was task X and she thought she knew.
* I didn't know she didn't know task X and I thought she knew.
* She didn't know I didn't know she thought was task Y and she thought I knew.
The tasks X and Y just little dark pieces from a depressed vocalno for a long time.
Yesterday, I asked A to do task X, she thought she understood what I assigned, it's doing Y, so she told me '' em hieu (I understand).'' I thought she understood due to her respond and didn't know she thought the task was Y instead of X. However, today I found she did wrongly and asked her to do again. And she told me she didn't understand until today. I felt very confusing since she should tell me she didn't understand in the beginning. Why we often need to revise the same papers? I told her so and she stared to revise. At the time, I didn't know: she exactly understand in her way, but not understand in my way, so it's right she understood exactly in one aspect! I kept feeling the thing was very rediculous...
.
Then two hours later, when she finally finished the task. I asked her did she check every data but she responded me many words (all our communication here was through the other colleague C's translation.), I interupted and asked her in simplier ways but she still kept speaking so much. Ok, tried one more time, "C, you ask A just told me yes or no!" but she still express in many words. She was not looked as before even she told more than others. I could feel she was complaining about I asked her to do Y, but today said it's wrong and asker her to do X, so she just keeping revising...finally her voice became loud and we all knew she was angry and disappointed. She laughed a bit after finishing those imcomprehensive sentences and I could tell all these thing targeted our communicating problems. I asked C told her not to say so much and she didn't need to translate for us now just told her ''I will check the report by myself and she can go home as the working hour finish today." Of course, the ''going home'' just very simple reference as taking rest today but not leaving the job. I don't have the power and didn't like to do that. I could feel a weired emotion rolled in my body, and I said the sentence calmly but unusual becuase I always appear at the moment when they leaving home for checking the schedule and say goodbye to them. It was usually the happiest time for us.
I went back my room and thought it was too rediculous with a little angriness too.
I also thought it's also my problem too. I am very lazy and slow learner in Vietnamese language.
What they want must not the sentences like these: ''You do like this,'' or ''you see a in the paper1, so you do the same in the paper2 '' and so on in Vietnamese with demonstration.
What they want must be clear instruction such as: ''You compare the dates, if...it means the date should be categorised in X sections, and you can fill in them on these forms...'' In one word, I know what I want so I think the task is simple and I think the simple Vietnamese sentences are enough to convey my meanings but the fact is they don't understand what's the aim to do specific tasks and they only can catch part of my messages and guess the possible RIGHT ways to do. Obviously, we all make efforts on accessing each other in our ways, which was successful maybe in 80% in different tasks, since we cannot always ask others for translation all the time.
***
At dusk, I received a text in Vietnamese from her. She asked me if I was sad and said she will try to work better. I didn't reply her immediatedly but I hoped she could eat the dinner without too much worries. Several hous later, I replied her: ''Chi biet em k hieu chi noi gi...(I know you don't understand what I said, it doesn't matter. I will try to express clearly.)'' Then she responded me: ''Em se...(I will make effort to understand you. Wish you have a good dream.)''
I am sad now when I typing these and have a heavier feeling because she is such a considerate young woman much more than me and always eagers to work well since the days we cooperated these weeks. I think: we cannot heal each other's frustration for communication on our own; we cannot improve any language skills in such a short time no matter who learn the other's language or English, but the warmth will keep warm and I would remember that... one of the most impressive stories in Vietnam.
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